Until we learn to be content in solitude, we will always be lonely. And every action we take in life will be to fill that void, that loneliness that we feel inside.
We are all lonely. Some people are lonely even when surrounded by many friends and family.
We hang out with people that aren't good for us. We stay in relationships that aren't fulfilling. We keep working at a job that isn't inspiring. We won't move to another city. We won't travel. We will travel. We leave home. We manipulate. We make room. We lose ourselves. We compromise. We get jealous. We get possessive. We drown ourselves in vices.
That voice in our heads is loud and we're only half a step ahead of it. Just to be clear, this article is for me (as much as it is for anyone who relates to it). I am lonely. I admit that freely. When I spend time in solitude, I am able to see that clearly. Stripped of my family, friends and any identifying trait that makes me, 'ME', I can't pass the buck to someone/something else to fill my void. I am faced with myself.
And that self is motivated by loneliness
It is a losing battle really. You will always need someone else to fill that void. Unless...
Unless you fill it yourself. It's a damn cliche I know. But damn it, if it isn't true. Like I said before, if you're the one doing all the self-loving, you can never lose, cuz you'll never leave you. Last night when the whole of Barcelona was out celebrating San Juan, and fireworks were going off all around me, I decided to stay in alone instead of going for a party. As the night went on, I felt a pang of loneliness and a pull to go out. Just go be with your friends, I thought to myself.
Talk to yourself like you would a lover
I've noticed the best way to love myself and overcome loneliness is to talk to me like I would a lover. During my self-talk, I see my 'self' as I was at around age nine or so. I don't know why, but that little girl always comes up. I talk to her like I was the person who loves her the most, unconditionally. When she is lonely I imagine myself sitting next to her so she can cuddle up to me, and I imagine holding her tight. It might be delusional and silly, but it has worked so far. One part of me - the 'mother' me - is giving little me so much unconditional love and tenderness I am pretty much smothering me.
And I love it.
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